so today’s topic is beauty, both inside and out. This is a very popular topic, especially around the age that I am now, so I thought it would be good to talk about it. Also because I want to get some of my thoughts out because they are basically suffocating me.
Every day I stand in front of the mirror for about half and hour in total across the day. I get dressed in front of my mirror, I do my hair in front of my mirror, I look in the mirror every time I wash my hands and I clean my teeth in front of the mirror. I glance at my reflection every time I walk past it. And most of the time, my thoughts aren’t positive. I tell other people when the subject comes us that I think I am beautiful. I give people the idea that I am comfortable in my own skin and like how I look.
I hate how I look.
I hate my skin, my cheeks. I have a condition called Keratosis Polaris which makes my skin incredibly bumpy and my cheeks pink like a really strong blush all the time. I hate this. I look around me and I see all these girls with smooth pale flawless skin and wish I had skin like that. They wish they weren’t so pale and that they were tanned. Well, I’d gladly trade my skin for their’s.
I hate the shape and thickness of my hair. It is slightly curly and it curls upwards so it is basically vertical. It is so thick so it’s very difficult to get a handle of. I love the colour though, that’s the only thing I like about it.
I hate my arms and legs. I think they are too big and thick. I’m a ballet dancer, so they are shown off a lot and I always feel very insecure around the other dancers who have stick thin legs. Even copious amounts of exercise doesn’t get rid of the thickness, because it’s not fat, it’s just their shape.
That’s about it, but as you can see I don’t think I am beautiful. Well, I tell myself I am beautiful but I only believe it when others say it to me.
When it comes to the subject of attraction and romance, people say that ‘it’s what’s on the inside that counts’. Yes, it does count. But in the beginning, it’s your looks that catch a boy’s (or girl’s) eye. Then it’s the personality, because that’s what they come to care about as they get to know you. But you don’t go around school saying ‘oh, that guy has a good personality,’ about random strangers you’ve never met before. You say, ‘oh, that guy is hot,’ or something along those lines (I never describe guys as hot. They’re people, not cups of tea). Do you get what I’m saying. So yes, I am insecure about my looks because I know that that’s I what I need to attract a guy’s attention. And yes, I know deep down that I am beautiful because I have had a boyfriend who told me so, and my friends tell me so and my family tell me so. So I have nothing really to worry about.
But I still do worry. We all worry at some point. Some of us never stop worrying, most of us don’t stop worrying. My mum still worries about her figure, even though my dad, my brother and I all say she’s beautiful. That’s just human nature, we always see the imperfections over our perfections.
Have a think about your views on this topic and get back to me in the comments.
P.S. It’s okay to worry about your looks, just don’t make it your highest worry.
P.P.S. For a further experiment, go up to one of your friends and tell them they are beautiful. See their reaction.